Entering into a marriage isn’t a relationship that should be entered into lightly. Marriages are often challenging and difficult situations will arise that require strong communication and a deep understanding of the person you are with, including their needs, perspective, and style. If you have been together for years, many of these things will be learned throughout that time. For those who haven’t been in the relationship for very long, there may still be much to learn about your significant other. Whether you have been in your relationship for one year or six years, both parties may benefit from pre-marriage relationship counseling. What can you expect to gain from our sessions?
Define Marriage Expectations
Everyone has a different experience with marriages, whether that’s from grandparents, parents, or friends who are married. You may view marriage as something completely different from how your partner sees it. With relationship counseling sessions, we can discuss what expectations each of you are bringing into the marriage and whether or not those expectations coincide. If not, we can discuss what steps can be taken to ensure each person is aware of the other’s desires and needs.
How the Past Affects the Future
If you grew up in a happy home or if your parents were divorced at an early age, these situations can have a direct impact on how you see marriage and the future of your marriage, whether you realize it or not. Pre-marriage relationship counseling is an opportunity to dive into your pasts to see if it has affected how you view marriage. Transference, which is taking qualities and dynamics from past relationships and transferring them onto new ones can cause marriage problems. If you had a bad experience with a past relationship, the last thing we want is for a similar situation to happen again.
Learn How to Resolve Conflict
Arguments will undoubtedly happen, which is a healthy part of a relationship. However, it’s how you handle and resolve the argument that is important. If you rely on the silent treatment or feel the need to yell and shout, these actions can have significant negative impacts on the health of the marriage. Learning and knowing how to communicate effectively isn’t the only thing that a marriage needs, but it’s a great place to start.
Talk About Money
One of the biggest challenges that couples have to face is their finances. Again, relationship counseling is an opportunity to discuss past and present financial history, goals, and struggles that you are having with a trusted and neutral opinion. Having the tools and support to have this conversation will help when future issues arise.
Let’s Talk About Sex
I understand that it might not be the most comfortable topic, but if intimacy issues come up, it’s better to get comfortable talking about it now, rather than when you’re trying to resolve the issue. It’s no surprise that men and women have different viewpoints and emotional differences regarding sex, so opening up about your specific differences can only help to develop a healthy relationship.
If are you looking for pre-marriage relationship counseling, I want you to feel safe coming to StarBrook. Learn more about my experience and give me a call for a free consultation.